red-letter day
January 5, 2009waah. finally. it came. nakahinga rin ng maluwag. damn fetish.
anyway. haay. ang gulo ng buhay ko ngayon. well actually, ako tlga ung magulo. haha. so anung bago? hindi naman ako na-late. aga ko nga eh. traffic na kasi start na ng pasukan but still, >45mins ung travel time ko. astig. was listening to my mp3 player while on the road. this song “caught my ear”:
No sir, well I don’t wanna be the blame, not anymore
It’s your turn, so take a seat we’re settling the final score
And why do we like to hurt, so much?
I can’t decide
You have made it harder just to go on
And why, all the possibilities where I was wrong
That’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
That’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating
And that’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you’re not here
Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here
I still try holding onto silly things, I never learn [1]
Oh why, all the possibilities I’m sure you’ve heard
That’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
That’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating (beating)
And that’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
Hey, make your way to me, to me
And I’ll always be just so inviting [2]
If I ever start to think straight
This heart will start a riot in me
Let’s start, start, hey!
Why do we like to hurt so much?
Oh why do we like to hurt so much?
That’s what you get when you let your heart win! Whoa
That’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
That’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
Now I can’t trust myself with anything but this
And that’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
title of the song is That’s What You Get by Paramore. it so aptly describes ung naging situation ko with Andie’s dad. during[1] and after the break-up[2]. kinda silly for me to be affected by this. i know it has been more than 1 year since we’ve spoken to each other face-to-face. pero eto pa rin me. i remember the boy and i still remember the feeling. ouch.
going back. panget na naman ng stats ko today. hmmp. puro shopping. di ko tuloy ma-feel ung pagiging sales agent ko. haay.
and im harboring some ill-will towards my mom. sama kong anak, i know. but i cant help but feel cheated out of my salary. i mean ako etong nagpapakapagod tapos siya di man lang maasikaso ung dinner and breakfast ko. i mean she still expects me to fend off for myself. sabi pa niya, “malaki ka na, anung gusto mo mangyari? baby-hin ka pa?” damn. para saan pa na kasama ko siya sa bahay, right? i know na malaki ang utang na loob ko sa kanya pero kahit na noh. i mean, ako na nga tong nag-sshoulder ng lahat ng expenses. as in lahat, ultimo baon ng kapatid ko sa skul, gatas ng bunso namin, necessities ng baby ko. i mean, hellow! cut me some slack here, will you?! syet. natetempt tuloy akong kunin ung advice ng mga friends ko na “maglayas, humanap ng sariling matitirhan, humanap ng yaya for my baby at kunin ang atm sa kanya”. paksyet tlaga. naiinis tuloy ako. di na nga ako kumakain ng maayos dito sa opis dahil PHP120 lang binibigay niyang baon. kasi pati atm ko, siya naghahawak eh. haay.
aun.
